How to Eat on a Cruist Ship: At the Buffet

AT THE BUFFET:

• Cruise through the buffet to see everything that's available first. I will hate you because you are that dubious New Yorker floating in front of me at the salad bar, slowing me down...but you will be less likely to get the schnitzel and the bacon and the muffin if you scout out your favorite Croissant ahead of time.


• Limit yourself to one plate...at a time! I allow myself just one plate. THen I sit as far away from the buffet as possible. If I'm still hungry after that one plate, I can go back for another one...I figure the walk back will burn it off, right? For extra credit, grab a smaller plate. One of the acappella singers on our ship goes as far as to put a small bowl upside down on his plate for less surface area; that would only inspire me to create mount vesuvius on mine - piling it as high as physics would allow before a pea avalanche. (Heh heh - I said pea avalanche.) Don't forget this mantra: It's a buffet - I can always come back for more.


• Hit the salad bar first. Everybody likes some vegetable or another - and they usually take up a lot of space on your plate. After the salad bar, hit up the grilled or steamed vegetables. Then, after you have delicious veggies on your plate, you can hit up the dirty delicious things...


• Limit yourself to one serving of meat per meal. One serving is as big as a deck of cards. I know - that's not much! But don't forget you can always use the serving spoon to muscle that fish fillet in half so that you can have it AND part of a chicken breast. Be careful of saucy dishes with meat and goo, like Lamb Curry or Cheesy Chicken Delight. These often have the fattiest cuts of meat in them - the stuff they want to hide among the goo. My boyfriend practices this clever tactic: He gets a turkey burger or a chicken breast, and then spoons a bit of the delicious goo from the curry or buttery delight over it. That way he has some flavor on his leaner bit of meat. With the calories he saves, he gets an ice cream.


• These are dirty delicious things: Cheesy Casseroles, Fried meats, Greasy Pastas, pizza, buttery saucy things, bacon, sausage, white bread. Give yourself tiny portions of these - I often find that a tiny bit of cheesy deliciousness satisfies my craving for it. If the urge is overwhelming, use the mantra: I can always come back for more.


• Deserts: Don't grab your desert with your meal. Make yourself go back for it afterward. Most buffet deserts come in reasonably small portions...as long as you don't grab three of them! If you get soft serve ice cream, get it in a tiny container rather than a cone - the container usually limits the size by the mere physics. You don't want a tall skinny tower of chocolate soft serve falling over on your hand at the pool deck, do you?


• Drink a lot of water. I set down my plate and then use both hands to get my water - two to three glasses of it, with ice and lemon which makes it feel special. (And the lemon is there, why not?) If I'm getting coffee, I try to force myself to use 2% milk in it...or at the very least put my cream in before the coffee so I'm forced to see how much cream I'm giving myself.